3 Steps to Release Self-Sabotage

Most of us have dreams and goals that we’re working toward, whether it’s financial, relationship, career, or health.  Have you ever gotten to the point where you felt like there were some forces working against you?  That no matter how hard you tried, you weren’t making the headway that you planned or longed for?

What are these obstacles that so many of us come up against when we’re moving toward a goal?  And how do we remove them?   Let’s get right to the main sabotaging energy that could be holding you back, and how to heal it.

In my practice with my clients and in my own life, what I most often see working against us, isn’t an external force like the economy, our families, our culture, our financial situation or big business.  Even though it may seem so, we’re not being victimized by some outer force that’s beyond our control. 

It’s us. You and me and our thought patterns.

Each of us individually (and collectively as a human community) tend to hold the same energy patterns in our thoughts. 

This is good news!  This means that we can correct this pattern from within and release the energy of self-sabotage.  The extra bonus is that while we’re doing the work that helps us reach our personal goals, we’re also positively affecting our entire human family.

Striving and Self-Sabotage

We all have mental, emotional and energetic patterns or “programming”.  On this topic, that pattern either has the energy of growth or sabotage.  If we’re holding the energy of sabotage, then even our most diligent and heartfelt efforts won’t produce the results that we’re desiring.

Notice I didn’t say “the results we’re striving for”.  That was intentional.  This brings us to our most common self-saboteur:  striving.

Striving is different than having goals and dreams and working toward them.  To strive is defined as “to try very hard to do or achieve something; to struggle in opposition.”

None of us wants to struggle with our goals, we don’t want to “try hard to achieve”.  And the truth is, when we try so hard, and we struggle, we tend to push away the very things that we’re wanting to attract.

Allowing Versus Striving

Here’s a great example.  Have you or someone you’ve known tried and tried to have a baby?  Treatments, drugs, and scheduling are the most common ways to try to get pregnant.  

But how many times have you heard of someone who finally quit trying so hard and then they got pregnant!  Maybe they adopted, or they just stopped striving, and before they knew it, baby was on the way.

The main ingredient in this example and so many others, is the energy of allowing versus striving.  According to universal law, any problem or struggle that we stress about and resist, we make larger and more prominent.  When we stop seeing the problem as a problem, and start allowing the energy to flow, that’s when miracles happen!

Healing The Pattern of Self-Sabotage

There are many ways to heal a pattern of sabotage, including  independent and guided meditation and energy work.  Here is a simple and easy 3-step method to help you clear out that energy, so you can begin to allow in the helpful, supportive energies that you truly desire.

Step 1:  Perception

This is just an adjustment in your thinking.  When you think of your goal and the circumstances that have gotten in your way, ask yourself a question.  “What if everything that I’ve perceived as an obstacle, was really a gift?  What if it was in my favor?”

You don’t have to automatically believe that it’s true.  Just ponder the question, to open up your energy in the mental aspects of the situation.

Step 2:  Affirming and Allowing

There is something to be said for verbally claiming your new pattern.  Say out loud 3 times with eyes closed, with your eyes rolled up like you’re looking at your forehead (this helps us program ourselves):

I allow myself to heal.

I allow myself to heal.

I allow myself to heal.

This step sets the stage for our final step.

Step 3:  Ritual of Transformation

Our final step has its roots in native cultures and is simple and very effective.  You might find yourself doing this step every morning or night for a while, as you imprint your new pattern on your energy system.

You’re going to make 2 lists, and then read them out loud.

The first list looks like this:

I now neutralize the energies of 






lack of fulfillment, 



perfectionism….and whatever else comes to mind that you’re ready to transform.

Your second list is all about what you’re consciously bringing into your life:

I invite in and give thanks for the energies of







willingness to learn…and anything else that comes up that you’re ready for!

Now you’re ready to move forward unhindered by that old, outdated energy of self-sabotage.  You’ve taken a conscious step to release what hasn’t been working for you, and invite in new patterns and energies that will!

Anytime you feel victimized by circumstances or overwhelmed with challenges in meeting your goals, start with Step 1 and move through this exercise.  It can take some time to retrain your energy system to hold onto those higher level energies, but it can be done!

Here’s to you, allowing fulfillment.


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